leadership

How do you know when enough is enough?

June 3, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

Warning: This post contains the F-bomb. Actually, it contains lots of F-bombs, so if you’re offended by strong language click away now. If not read on.

I sold my real estate business in 2006. The story I tell is that I woke up one morning and said enough is enough. I’d looked into the future and didn’t like the picture of a grey haired 55 year-old wearing an Hawaiian shirt and white shoes standing at a home open. But the truth is the seeds of my dissatisfaction started years earlier and many of them were documented in a journal I kept at the time.

Here, in part, is what I wrote in December 2002.

Fuck I hate my business. I hate the shitty attitudes of some of my staff. I hate that everything falls back to me to sort out. I hate that I’m responsible for everything that happens in that place. I hate that people can’t get along and work together in harmony.

…Right now I just want to sell up so I don’t have the responsibility of…making sure that money goes into the right account or audits get done or any of the other 4 million tiny fucking things that need to be done.

…This business is such a fucking drag. I get tired just thinking about it. I want to go to sleep. I just feel tired and drained and exhausted.

There’s a doubt there, something holding me back. My ego [is] telling me to hang in there, be tough, don’t let it break you, don’t be a quitter. They’re all there – the male mantra for doing it tough in the face of adversity. It’s a decision only I can make…Fuck it takes some bravery, some courage some balls.

If I sell I need some sort of coach to hold me to my course of action. Lots of people will try to talk me out of the decision, they’ll make it seem like a bad idea and given time and a few goals I’ll feel better about staying. So why not stay? Why not hang in there? If I know that I’ll feel better about my business in 1,2. 3 months time then why not just grin and bear it? Because I just don’t feel I’ve got enough strength to keep on going. I just don’t feel like I’ve got the strength to keep lifting others up, keep myself pumped up.

As I read this back I sense again my frustration and anger, both negative emotions. Perhaps my business could have been even more successful had I been more positive. I’ll never know. That aside I recall well the sense of running through treacle, of a pressing weight crushing the life out of me. Sure, I had my good moments – in fact they outweighed the bad – but when the tough stuff came along it was all I could do to keep moving.

But what I do know is the day I announced that I sold my business was a day that I got my life back. I felt a giant weight lift from my shoulders and a relief that I no longer needed to live up to the expectation of others.

The lesson I learned from this transition was that this is my life, not someone else’s. And while endurance and sacrifice have their place they’re values that should be used in the service of creating happiness, not of holding us enslaved to outdated societal norms.

So how do you know when enough is enough? My advice is to never compromise on your happiness. Don’t suffer things in your life that drag you down or that make you feel less than invincible. Sure, endure and walk through the suffering but do it because it makes you happy and empowered, not because of some outdated ‘should.’

10 traits of a great leader

April 5, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

A recruit goes through a leadership drill at Wespoint

Leaders care about results, not about how they look. Image: West Point – US Military Academy https://www.flickr.com/photos/west_point/5661275835/

#1 – You’re driven by passion

You love what you do and believe in your heart of hearts that the world needs what you and your team have to offer. If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, get the hell out of the way and let someone else lead. Leaders lead, they don’t hold back ambitious people.

#2 – You’re driven by duty

Passion will get you so far but often leaders need to dig into reserves when things don’t go to plan. A strong sense of duty helps a leader stay the course when the easiest thing to do would be to pack it all in and move to Bali.

#3 – You’ve got grit

Unlike others, you don’t give in when the going gets tough. Instead, you find reserves within yourself to keep going. No-one ever said about you that you’re a quitter.

#4 – You shine the spotlight on others

Good leaders know that, in accepting accolades, they do so so as representatives of their team. They recognise the important part that others in their organisation have played in achieving success and shine the spotlight on those people who’ve helped along the way.

#5 – You get things done quietly and without fuss

Good leaders avoid making their work about them. Instead, they make it their job to get work done without huffing and puffing or turning themselves into either heroes or martyrs. They care little about their looks and a lot about the difference they’re making.

They don’t just talk about stuff and they don’t over analyse. Instead, while others are asleep, they make things happen. They build a team and get the wagon train heading in the right direction.

#6 – You surround yourself with the right people

Face it, you can’t know everything about everything. Inevitably you’re going to need to ask for help. Recognise your strengths and weaknesses and start adding people to your team who compensate for your weaknesses and build on your strengths.

#7 – You’re a communicator

You don’t bottle stuff up. You ask for help and support where needed. You let people know where you’re at. You let people into your world. Sure, it’s nice to be a great orator in the style of Winston Churchill or Martin Luther King, but that’s not so important as communicating so as to build relationships.

#8 – You’re a good listener

If you want to get the best from your team…listen. Listen to their ideas, their concerns and their fears. Ask questions and then shut up. Empower people to speak their minds.

#9 – You never abandon your troops

If you’re troops are under attack be the first person to go to their defence. Often leaders will let customers savage their workers and hide behind the “customer is always right BS.” No, the customer isn’t always right. Some times they can be arrogant, disrespectful twats. If someone is disrespecting your team, go to their defence. Leave the communication skills lecture for later.

#10- You speak the truth

You praise people when they do great work and give them honest feedback when they’re performance isn’t up to par. Mincing words isn’t your style. People want to know where you’re at. They don’t like to be forced to guess about your motivations and your stance on an issue.

3 excellent articles that will help you become a better leader

February 4, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

Young women listening to a course on leadership

Great leaders listen and learn. Image: Fundatia Leaders http://www.flickr.com/photos/44692724@N07/

If you want to become a better leader here are 3 great articles that will help you do just that.

1. Leadership masterclass: 10 things you need to know to be a better leader
Using Australian case studies, columnist Fiona Smith argues that leaders don’t need to possess the most knowledge. Instead they need neuroleadership, the ability to apply the latest findings in neuroscience to fields of leadership. Adopting this approach leaders are able to cope with far higher degrees of uncertainty and have less need for process.

The author then goes on to list 10 strategies used by great leaders. These include finding quiet time as a way to solve problems and recruiting for diversity.

2. 3 Signs You’re Meant to Be a Leader
In this article, Les McKeown opines that not everyone is cut out to lead? How do you know if you’re one of those people?

First, you’ll lead only when you have to, not all the time. Trying to lead all the time is a sign of insecurity.

Second, you see much more than you do. McKeown believes that too many try to do too much instead of sitting back and observing.

Third, you change people and they achieve outcomes. By this McKeown believes that it’s a false dichotomy to ask which is better: to build a great team or to hit targets. Instead, great leaders do both. They build great teams and exceed targets.

3. Why you’re not a leader
If you’ve looked around and no-one’s following then Mike Myatt has the answer. He provides 10 reasons why people aren’t leaders including hogging the spotlight, too much focus on process and not enough on people, and being too quick to follow the rules.

7 unconventional behaviours of inspiring leaders

January 29, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

Great leaders listen and learn. Image: Fundatia Leaders http://www.flickr.com/photos/44692724@N07/

It’s one thing to be a good manager but another altogether to be a leader who inspires people.

One is safe and gets things done slowly, the other empowers people to live life with excitement and purpose.

Yet being a great leader isn’t easy. It takes a mixture of learned skills and natural abilities.

According to Ekaterina Walter, inspiring leaders routinely behave in the following quirky ways.

1. The play devil’s advocate
They ask questions that provoke people to think about their work. They demand that people explore their assumptions and rake over the coals of the ideas campfire. Around an inspiring leader you’ll hear ‘why’ a lot.

2. They take the blame
They’re quick to accept the blame for their team’s poor performance. And when things go well they’re just as quick to shine the spotlight on their team members. Inspiring leaders protect their team and are humble about their own achievements.

3. They couldn’t care less about conventional wisdom
Saying that’s it’s never been done to a true leader is like waving a red rag to a bull. They look for ways to route around or through a problem. They look for solutions from other industries and from their life experiences.

In an interview I asked a prospective employee to tell me a story about being innovative. She told me about buying kebab skewers from a marketplace in New Guinea so she could serve her dinner guests. From that point forward I knew she’d find creative ways to solve problems. She never let me down.

4. They listen intently
In meetings they ask questions – lots of them – then they shut up and listen. Good leaders don’t need to hear their own voices to feel good about themselves.

5. They intentionally seek diversity
Great leaders go out of their way to surround themselves with strong, independent people who are willing to bring a unique perspective to a team. They don’t want or need yes people. Instead they encourage diversity of thought and opinion and empower those around them to speak their minds.

6. They invite naiveté
Great leaders are always learning. They look for answers in strange places and they’re humble enough to know they don’t have all the answers. They’re always asking ‘why’ and ‘why not.’

7. They disappear
Knowing their limits, good leaders take time to unwind and recharge. They create spaces in their lives that release their creative spark.

It’s nothing to find a great leader involved in an unusual hobby or learning a new skill.

Do you know an inspiring leader? What unconventional behaviours do they display?

The six most important principals of leadership – Rudy Giuliani

May 22, 2011 by Peter Fletcher

The six most important principals of leadership.

Have goals. How much do you want to achieve? Have a vision, a battle plan. In the US vision has been lost. Ronald Regan said that communism was bankrupt. His goal was to beat communism. We win, they lose. He helped bring communist governments down and changed the domestic political debate. That’s what big vision can do.

America is involved in Libya to protect the people of Libya. They’re not involved to remove Gaddafi. But these goals are in conflict.

Biggest weakness of modern leaders is to not have a clear vision.

Get vision by thinking and talking. People work better if they contribute to creating the vision.

To be a leader be an optimist

People follow hope and someone that offers a solution. If you have a problem identify the solution.

Fourth principal of leadership: relentless preparation.

Risk is fear. Use fear to prepare more effectively. Practice. Think of the questions you’ll be asked. Anticipate the unexpected.

Fifth principal of leadership : teamwork

Recruit people to compliment your strengths and overcome weaknesses.

Sixth principal of leadership: communication

A leader is a teacher and a motivator. Focus on helping others succeed. Be there when things go wrong.

I don’t agree with many of Rudy’s political ideals but that’s life.

Tell Me, What Do You Stand For?

March 18, 2011 by Peter Fletcher

Ghandi and Guevara painted as graffiti on a wall

It’s easy to criticise, to take down, to undo. It’s easy to deride and scorn and demean. And it’s easy to cut another through with sharp words and careless phrases.

But these are the tools of the indolent mind, of the uninspired, of the uninspiring. They’re tools best left on the shelf and, better still, consigned to the past.

It’s easy to fight against everything and yet find ourselves standing for nothing.

Knocking down a building will always be easier than building one. Tearing down takes brute force but building up takes imagination, inspiration and creativity.

Still, some things in life are frustrating, and annoying, and aggravating. They arouse passions, fuel fears and provoke anger. With these deep emotions comes the desire to lash out and attack, as if we’re still bound by an instinct to either fight or flight.

If that which annoys and frustrates us is attacked with sufficient vigour, vitriol and venom then the frustration must surely be erased. At least that’s the path our coursing, pulsating emotions would have us take.

Yet, that path rarely resolves the frustration. Instead attacks often become personal. People get hurt. Passions are inflamed even further.

And all too often frustrations are vented with no commitment to producing something better, to creating worthwhile change.

It’s at the point of venting frustrations we get to choose. Either we take a stand for the change we want or take a stand for being a complainer. The latter is easy, the form takes effort and commitment.

For to complain and vent frustration without offering a solution, without thought to the consequences of our bleating, is to be little more than a spoilt brat. It’s childish and never achieves the desired outcome.

Recognising that something isn’t working is one thing, but looking at the object of our frustrations through the eyes of others takes mature thought, effort and insight.

Still, identifying frustration is only the first step. Owning our frustrations is another thing entirely. These are our frustrations, no-one else’s. Attempts to say that “everyone else feels this way” is to project our fears and anxiety onto others. But that projection changes nothing. They’re our frustrations and ours alone.

And yet owning our frustrations but doing nothing is amoral. It lacks courage and heart.

The alternative is to own our frustrations and while offering something new, something that works for all concerned.

To do so takes creativity and imagination. It takes understanding and a mature world view. And it takes courage to propose something that others might criticise.

But that’s a risk worth taking, for no change ever started with someone carping and moaning. Indeed, our obligation, if we’re to call ourselves leaders, is to communicate a compelling, enticing vision for the future, one that’s based on shared interests and lasting human values.

That’s what I want to be part of, a community of leaders committed to something bigger than pay slips and short term profits, a community of leaders who can see past self-interest and short term personal gratification.

Photo credit: puroticorico on Flickr