Social media | Peter Fletcher

How to spot an online bully and what to do when you find one

February 18, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

A schoolyard bully kicks a soccer ball at some younger children

Bullying is never OK. Image: trix0r http://www.flickr.com/photos/trixer/3531445744/

What is bullying?

Bullying is behaviour that:

is meant to be hurtful;
targets a certain person or group of people;
happens more than once; and
embarrasses, threatens or intimidates the person being bullied.

Bullying isn’t:

single episodes of social rejection or dislike;
single episode acts of nastiness or spite;
random acts of aggression or intimidation;
mutual arguments, disagreements or fights.

Types of bullying

According to the National Centre Against Bullying Bullying there are four types of bullying behaviour.

Physical bullying that includes punching, hitting and kicking. Obviously this doesn’t happen online.
Verbal bullying includes name calling, insults, racial and homophobic slurs, and teasing.
Covert bullying which includes pulling faces, spreading lies and rumours, mimicking, and encouraging others to exclude someone.
Cyber bullying includes elements from both of points 2 and 3 above.

The cost of bullying

Bullying can lead to mental and physical health issues in the victim;
Bullying at work costs businesses billions in lost productivity;
Bullying leads to people being less engaged and anxious;
Young people who are bullied often go on to be bullies themselves;
Young people who are serial bullies often go on to participate in criminal activities.

How to spot an online bully

There are several ways to spot an online bully. These include:

They attack someone for expressing a different point of view;
They ignore people in conversations;
They exclude people e.g. by not tagging someone in a photo or post;
They talk about someone so that others know who they’re talking about but not mentioning their name;
They talk about someone as if they’re not present even though they know the person would be aware of their comments;
They gang up on people;
They overtly or covertly threaten;
They ‘shout’ by using ALL CAPS;
They use sarcasm inappropriately.

What to do if you spot a bully

There’s lots that can be done. Here a few ideas.

Decide if the person really is a bully. Sometimes people who come across as nice people can be the worst bullies. In other cases some people who are blunt aren’t bullies – they just lack good social skills. Take the time to get some perspective and decide if the person’s behaviour warrants being labelled as bullying.
Don’t respond if you’re angry or upset. Take some time to let your emotions settle.
Take a stand. Bullies thrive on bystanders. Even if you’re not the target of the bullying it’s good to say something.
Avoid participating in the bully’s conversation. Hitting the Like button or engaging in the conversation, even if you’re not actively supporting the bully, can be construed as endorsing their behaviour.
Don’t feed the trolls. Bullies are often trolls and trolls love nothing more than a good scrap. Don’t give them what they want.
Offer your support to those who are targeted by a bully.
Consider unfriending or blocking the bully.
If their behaviour persists and you don’t feel safe, report them to the site administrator.

This Week In Social Media

March 14, 2011 by Peter Fletcher

Here are the links I’ve shared during last week.

The Five Elements of Authoritative Content. It’s one thing to produce content but another altogether to produce content that moves people to action. Through personal reflection a writer conveys how information has affected them and how it’s changed or reinforced their point of view. It’s this reflection that resonates with an audience.

Charlie Sheen Not Dead, But Virus Spreads On Facebook. Charlie Sheen’s meltdown has been well documented so when news of his “death” surfaced many found it plausible, clicking on a link supposedly containing a video. The only problem was the link contained a virus affecting a large number of computers. The takeaway here is to be careful about clicking, especially on stories that haven’t broken on credible news sites.

Introducing LinkedIn Today. LinkedIn just released a newspaper style page that brings together all of the most popular content shared by connections and influencers. It has a paper.li/Flipboard feel to it but it does make using LinkedIn more interesting and interactive.

12 Things To Do After You’ve Written a Blog Post. There’s nothing really new here but I liked the reminder to tailor the comment made in a status update to the intended audience. Sharing an article a number of times makes sense too, so long as this is done with a little restraint to avoid becoming spammy.

26 Ways To Use Social Media For Lead Generation. One of the main problems facing C Suite managers is the ROI of social media. Many believe it’s a good strategy but the execs in the A and B Suite keep asking “where are the leads?” In reality this article doesn’t address the issue of gaining more direct customers but it does a great job of explaining how social media can make a brand more accessible and attractive to customers. The premise then is that brands that are well regarded will attract more business.

How To Get Thousands of Facebook Fans With a Single Video. OK, the headline is probably an exaggeration, but the point is well made. Videos are an important way to generate interactions on a Facebook Page and those interactions often lead to new Likes. That’s what marketers want, right?

Cracking The Facebook Code. This is an oldie, but a goodie. It describes the results of field research done using a new Facebook profile and outlines the ‘tricks’ to getting into the Top News tab. It’s no surprise that new accounts take a lot of work to get noticed. Surprise, surprise, interaction is the key.

EdgeRank: The Secret Sauce That Makes Facebook’s News Feed Tick. This article describes in almost mathematical terms why some posts make it to Top News and why others don’t. The concept of objects and edges provide a theoretical basis for understanding how the system ticks.

The Mystery of The Facebook News Feed: How to Optimize The Hidden Jewel of Facebook. Another close look at EdgeRank that makes uses the analogy of a diamond to explain the concept of objects and edges. The more edges (likes, comments, shares) an object (a raw diamond, a new post) has the more valuable it is and the more likely it is to find its way into Top News.

21 Creative Ways To Increase Your Facebook Fan Base. Adding a comment box on a Facebook landing page is a pretty cool idea. There’s not many doing this so it would really set a Page apart from the rest.

How-To: Add An iFrame To Your Facebook Page As a Tab. A detailed tutorial from Reggie at MyTechOpinion. The process doesn’t look that hard. For a great example of it in action check out the MyTechOpinion Facebook Page. There are lots of options to get the most from the new look Facebook Pages and this is one of them.

Image Credit: Mashable.com on Flickr.

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