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31 things I’m grateful for — the tap in my shower

July 3, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

Every morning, the tap in my shower gives me a choice. Push it to the left and enjoy a hot shower, push it to the right and endure the sting of cold.

It’s a choice that reminds me of the power of removing options. Options cloud our judgement and turn yes or no into maybe. In business and in life, making swift, meaningful decisions create purpose and direction. Yes or no? On or off? In or out?

By choosing to have cold showers I’ve removed the options. There’s no question about which direction to push the lever. There’s no wondering about how much hot water to add. There’s just cold, only cold, no questions.

My shower tap also teaches me that the choice is mine. I can choose the warmth and comfort of the easy road that always gets bumpy or I can choose the hard road that ends up smooth and scenic. That moment of choice defines who I’ll be for the rest of the day.

My shower tap also teaches me to lean into the pain. The secret to enjoying a cold shower is to be fully present to the sharp slap of cold water. By focussing on the the icy sensation the pain goes away. Soon the cold turns into something that’s indistinguishable from warmth.

That experience helps me to lean into the pain during the day. Sometimes business can be painful. Things don’t go to plan and relationships can become strained. But leaning into the pain helps me to remain engaged during uncomfortable moments and to keep my focus when I’d like to retreat to a more comfortable place.

And those are the reasons why I appreciate the tap in my shower.

Filed Under: Motivation, Personal Tagged With: 31things, cold showers, focus, mental strength, mind games, will power

Zen and the art of the cold shower

January 16, 2014 by Peter Fletcher

Rock Garden, Ryoanji Temple, Kyoto, Japan.

Rock Garden, Ryoanji Temple, Kyoto, Japan. Image: Jim G on Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimg944/

Some conversations change our lives in ways that can’t be imagined or predicted at the time.

For me, one of those conversations took place at the end of a Zen meditation retreat.

Zen retreats are the Olympic marathon of meditation. They’re long and intense and are definitely no place to float away in some cloud of spiritual bliss.

For me they were just plain hard work.

The retreat would start at 5am with the sound of 3 bells. For the rest of the day we sat in total silence working on our koans.

My knees screamed in pain but there were no words. Just silence.

We sat like that for hours. The final bell of the evening sounded at 9pm.

Through it all the silence descended like a big dark doona, exposing thoughts to the glare of awareness and revealing the never-ending chatter of the monkey mind. 

At the end of the retreat the students share a simple lunch together and chat, slowly coming back to the speed of secular life.

On this occasion I got talking to a fellow student about cold showers.

“I could never have cold showers,” I said.

“Yes, you could,” came the response. “You just choose not to.”

“You’re right,” I said. “But not during the winter.”

“You could,” he said. “You just don’t want to.”

He was right. A seed had been planted.

On May 11, 2008 something happened where I was forced to have a cold shower. Maybe it was a broken hot water system. Maybe it was the Veranus Island gas explosion. I can’t remember but I had to have a cold shower or not have one at all. 

I fought it and thought about every possible way to avoid the sting of that cold water.

And then the conversation with my zen friend came back to me. My fear of cold water was all in my mind.

So I climbed into the shower and turned on the water.

It was cold. Very cold.

But as I towelled myself dry I realised I wasn’t dead. In fact I wasn’t even cold. Far from it.

I felt alive, invigorated, pumped, as though I’d just overcome a demon and conquered something big.

But it was one cold shower.

That proves nothing, I thought.

During the course of the day I made a decision to do it again. After my next cold shower I decided to go a week without cold showers. The week turned into the end of winter, which turned into the end of the year, which turned into a year.

One year turned into two, two to three. The rest is history.

So what’s the secret to having cold showers.

The technique I now use I pinched off Bear Grylls. He says that if ever you have to swim in really cold water breathe out until you’ve expelled all of your breath. That stops you from having that take-your-breath-away feeling.

So now I get into the shower, turn the cold tap on, then start breathing out as I step under the water. I keep breathing out until every last drop of my breath is gone.

Guess what? By the time all my breath is gone I can’t tell the difference between cold and hot water, even in the middle of winter.

And now, with nearly 6 years of cold showers under my belt I’m disinclined to start having hot showers. Every time I step under that cold water, especially during the winter, I’m reminded that I have the power to choose the way I respond to my circumstances.  

Filed Under: Daily blog, Life strategies Tagged With: choice, cold showers, meditation, power of the mind, zen

About Peter

Speaker, trainer and coach. I write about living, loving and working better. Love a challenge. More...

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