Simple acts can make this world a better place.
Image credit: Bryan Wysoglad on Flickr
A great mentor will guide you over the toughest terrain.
If you’ve ever had a great mentor you’ll know they’re worth their weight in gold. In equal parts they can be your accountant, financial adviser, life coach and best friend. Here, then, are six characteristics that define a truly great mentor.
Great mentors expect people to deliver. They demand the highest standards and won’t accept compromise. They expect both short term and long term success. At times they can be tough but sometimes that’s exactly what’s needed to get you performing at your peak.
A great mentor will demand that you reveal your motives. They’ll expect you to explain and be clear about what’s driving you, your goals and your morals. They’ll keep asking questions and prodding for answers until you’re crystal clear about your what and your why.
Mentors won’t let you take the easy path. They want you to step onto the edge, to take a risk, to attempt something daring. And they do that because they know that you’ve got more in you than you’re delivering right now.
Great mentors never stop learning. They love it themselves and they instil that love in others. With a mentor’s guidance you’ll read more, attend more courses and seminars and listen to others more closely.
A good mentor will show you the way, after all the risks you’re about to undertake are untrodden ground. They’ll talk you through the terrain that requires technical skill, they’ll tell you when you need to make an extra special effort and they’ll inspire you to do more when all you want to do is stop.
Let’s face it, running a business can get tough and sometimes you need someone who can lift you up and cheer you on. A true mentor will do that, especially in those dark moments when you need to hear a voice of encouragement.
Have you had a great mentor? What characteristic stood out for you?
Image credit: Adam Kubalica on Flickr
The real estate industry creates its heroes by numbers. Those who list the most, sell the most and who make the most get the accolades.
That’s not to say that those who sell less aren’t recognised, it’s just that they’re not recognised as much. Perhaps that’s OK. Maybe all those who’s performance puts them in the middle of the bell curve are perfectly happy but I think we’re less well off by not hearing their stories.
We’re less well off when we ignore the stories of mums who struggle to juggle a career and family, of single parents who stretch themselves thin to put food on the table and go to their kids’ sports carnivals, of grand parents who choose both a career and to baby sit their grand kids to help their own children get a start.
These are the stories we miss out on when we anoint as the best those who’s lives allow them to spend crazy hours at work and who’s support network allows them to follow their career dreams.
And it’s not as if those who earn the big bucks don’t have a story to tell – they do. Often they’ve overcome diversity and beaten the challenges that life has thrown at them. For that I say a big well done. But let’s not be blinded by the big money and the big numbers. Instead, let’s open ourselves up to listening to the wonderful, rich stories of the little people, of the battlers and of those who have lived a good, simple life.
Listening is a key strategy for being effective. So is being your own dog.
If you want to be more effective try these simple strategies.
What are your tips for living a more effective life?
Image: Zach Dischner on Flickr.
Every morning, the tap in my shower gives me a choice. Push it to the left and enjoy a hot shower, push it to the right and endure the sting of cold.
It’s a choice that reminds me of the power of removing options. Options cloud our judgement and turn yes or no into maybe. In business and in life, making swift, meaningful decisions create purpose and direction. Yes or no? On or off? In or out?
By choosing to have cold showers I’ve removed the options. There’s no question about which direction to push the lever. There’s no wondering about how much hot water to add. There’s just cold, only cold, no questions.
My shower tap also teaches me that the choice is mine. I can choose the warmth and comfort of the easy road that always gets bumpy or I can choose the hard road that ends up smooth and scenic. That moment of choice defines who I’ll be for the rest of the day.
My shower tap also teaches me to lean into the pain. The secret to enjoying a cold shower is to be fully present to the sharp slap of cold water. By focussing on the the icy sensation the pain goes away. Soon the cold turns into something that’s indistinguishable from warmth.
That experience helps me to lean into the pain during the day. Sometimes business can be painful. Things don’t go to plan and relationships can become strained. But leaning into the pain helps me to remain engaged during uncomfortable moments and to keep my focus when I’d like to retreat to a more comfortable place.
And those are the reasons why I appreciate the tap in my shower.
Warning: This post contains the F-bomb. Actually, it contains lots of F-bombs, so if you’re offended by strong language click away now. If not read on.
I sold my real estate business in 2006. The story I tell is that I woke up one morning and said enough is enough. I’d looked into the future and didn’t like the picture of a grey haired 55 year-old wearing an Hawaiian shirt and white shoes standing at a home open. But the truth is the seeds of my dissatisfaction started years earlier and many of them were documented in a journal I kept at the time.
Here, in part, is what I wrote in December 2002.
Fuck I hate my business. I hate the shitty attitudes of some of my staff. I hate that everything falls back to me to sort out. I hate that I’m responsible for everything that happens in that place. I hate that people can’t get along and work together in harmony.
…Right now I just want to sell up so I don’t have the responsibility of…making sure that money goes into the right account or audits get done or any of the other 4 million tiny fucking things that need to be done.
…This business is such a fucking drag. I get tired just thinking about it. I want to go to sleep. I just feel tired and drained and exhausted.
There’s a doubt there, something holding me back. My ego [is] telling me to hang in there, be tough, don’t let it break you, don’t be a quitter. They’re all there – the male mantra for doing it tough in the face of adversity. It’s a decision only I can make…Fuck it takes some bravery, some courage some balls.
If I sell I need some sort of coach to hold me to my course of action. Lots of people will try to talk me out of the decision, they’ll make it seem like a bad idea and given time and a few goals I’ll feel better about staying. So why not stay? Why not hang in there? If I know that I’ll feel better about my business in 1,2. 3 months time then why not just grin and bear it? Because I just don’t feel I’ve got enough strength to keep on going. I just don’t feel like I’ve got the strength to keep lifting others up, keep myself pumped up.
As I read this back I sense again my frustration and anger, both negative emotions. Perhaps my business could have been even more successful had I been more positive. I’ll never know. That aside I recall well the sense of running through treacle, of a pressing weight crushing the life out of me. Sure, I had my good moments – in fact they outweighed the bad – but when the tough stuff came along it was all I could do to keep moving.
But what I do know is the day I announced that I sold my business was a day that I got my life back. I felt a giant weight lift from my shoulders and a relief that I no longer needed to live up to the expectation of others.
The lesson I learned from this transition was that this is my life, not someone else’s. And while endurance and sacrifice have their place they’re values that should be used in the service of creating happiness, not of holding us enslaved to outdated societal norms.
So how do you know when enough is enough? My advice is to never compromise on your happiness. Don’t suffer things in your life that drag you down or that make you feel less than invincible. Sure, endure and walk through the suffering but do it because it makes you happy and empowered, not because of some outdated ‘should.’
That weight of duty will one day lift.
That dragging anchor will let go.
That sadness you feel will be left behind.
And soon you’ll be flying.
Like the notes of a trumpet far above the bass sounds of your unforgiving past.
You’ll embrace a new life.
You’ll embrace a new love.
You’ll find a new way.
And then you’ll turn and do it all again, to prove you have what it takes.
To prove you were made from the finest.
To prove you were up to the challenge
To prove you were born to win.
You’ll get through this.