10 tips for a long and happy marriage

Rita and I have been married for over 28 years. In this age of disposable everything that’s no mean feat.

Over those years we’ve lived and laughed together, done plenty of travel and supported each other through our highs and lows.

But just as a quilt isn’t made of one giant knot, a marriage isn’t made from one I Do.

After I Do the real work begins.

Here, then, are my 10 tips for a better marriage.

1. Marry your best friend. Before Rita and I became romantically involved we hung out as mates. We went to the circus together, kicked the footy together and cut laps together. (That’s what bogans did in Kalgoorlie in the eighties.) We were comfortable around each other long before our first kiss.
2. Have supportive routines. I make Rita a coffee every morning at 7am. It’s our way of starting the day together.
3. Make home-coming and departure a big deal. If I’m home first from work I greet Rita at the front door with a smile and a kiss. We leave for work with a goodbye kiss – everyday.
4. Have a goodnight routine. I always give Rita a kiss goodnight before heading off to bed.
5. Do your share of the cooking and the housework. That includes vacuuming, dusting, doing the laundry, dusting and cleaning the windows.
6. Tell your partner you love them – a lot. We say I love you multiple times every day.
7. Look for the best in the other person. I still love Rita’s smile and her infectious laugh. It makes me feel good inside.
8. Lose any sense of ownership of the other person. Recognise your interdependence and support each other’s life choices.
9. Make a big deal of milestones. That means remembering anniversaries, birthdays and other special days.
10. Make an extra-special big deal about milestone milestones e.g 5, 10, 20, 25 years. Celebrate what you’ve achieved.

What are your top tips for a happy marriage?

Photo credit: Eswift on Flickr